Now - as I said previously, this section may be uncomfortable for some.  So, if sexual things aren't quite your cup of tea then go on back to the last page.  I am presenting this information not only to acquaint people with what is available here - but also to demonstrate the Chinglish that is quite common in product descriptions.

Item 1 and 2:  Private Parts Lotion.  This one doesn't have too much Chinglish in it.  So, about the only thing that can be said is that it is a hygienic wash for before or after sexual intercourse. Click link for more details.

Item 2:  I Can.  A male and female lubricant.  Again, not much Chinglish.  Click link for more details.

Item 3:  Shake the Condom.  The box for this product reads:  Vibrated & Condom.  The back of the box can certainly get you a bit curious.

Reins is unique vibrator for use on the penis, intensifying sexual pleasure and allowing both you and your partner to climax at the same time.  The condom is promotes safe and responsible sex.  The condom is a latex product, with spermicidal properties and conforms to EU standards.

OK - that is a bit tame - and the English passable.  It did make me a bit curious - so I had to open the box and find out what it was all about.  The instructions inside the box are true and pure Chinglish which makes this truly enjoyable:  (Reproduced exactly as it is written.)

Function:

1.  Carsse:  Lightly touch the female sensitive this product at take, and can let female feels the unprecedented pleasant sensations.

2.  Sprint:  Set top after this product, proceeds to make love the piston sport.  lightly the take, and can stimulate female when clitoris pleasant sensation, gain high tide. fast takes the action up and down revolve this product 180 degrees (press the places in the penis under), the match make love the posture usage, and can let female feels the different high tide.

3.  DIY:  This product can be used as the small scaled massage the usage deep into the inside, quickly, frequency that vibrate, can let female under the asexuality companion, and may also attain the high tide.

Special features:

1.  45 minutes, goodser than other product that vibrate the motor are roughly to maintain time to out 2-3 more times.  Can let user contain abundant time to make the usage of more varieties. 

2.  EXtension that this product for male contain special features to make love time.

3.  This product set top empress, can according to make love what posture adjust revolve the angle, and absolutely have intention to surprisingly Result.

Usage elucidation:  (To give an explanation that serves to clarify.)

1.  Fondle, can draw apart first to put the, and lightly press female ear, chest, back, inside, outside Department etc. sensitive at take, and can let female attain the first high tide.

2.  Quit the penis the absolute being to the ro0t the department above, lightly the move or static motionless, can let the female While there is different pleasant sensation, and quickly sprinting, can up and down revolve this product 180 degrees, avoid directly Oppress the underneath, and outside and can stimulate the sensitive district of the private parts underneath, and can have intention to surprisingly many Heavy result.

3.  Female DIY hour, can by oneself massage the whole body sensitive the district, mimicry men can woman to  make love the piston to take the action The hour, finger hoots the female, can the top and bottom, or so etc, direction is slowly the take, let female to quickly attain High tide.

*  This product draw aparts to put the empress, and slightly make to flutter, and can let the batter and motor get in touch with, increase the motive move smoothly.

*  This product after the usage if there is electricity to measure to can draw apart to put back to put the to continue to use. 

*  For the keeping this product of personal clean suggestion use a time.

OK boys and girls.  There you have it - a comprehensive lesson in making love. 

The product comes packaged with 2 batteries (45 minutes for each one???) plus the vibrator and two condoms.  (See picture below)  Maybe this type of thing is available in sex shops in the Western world - I have no idea at all.  If it is, I am confident that the instructions are not as interesting as they are here in China.

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