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A New Year, A New Look 15 January 2008 Here it is, a new year and we are far enough into it now that there is no turning back. Since The Old Codger is officially on vacation now for the next six weeks or so, he decided to do something worthwhile and that had needed doing for some time now. That thing of course, was to re-design the web site and upload some things that had been archived from his days in Thailand. This effort was basically required to ensure that the site is optimized for the search engines. For a Google search of the term "old codger" the site comes up as number 6. On Yahoo, it comes up first. Not too bad for a dumb old country boy armature web designer. The goal is to have more terms used in the web site come up on the search engines. Why the concentration on search engines? Well, truth of the matter is that The Old Codger would like to try to get some revenue coming in from this web site. A bit of revenue from some advertising would go a long ways toward paying the annual hosting fees and domain name registration. The cost isn't all that great - only about $35 per year - but don't forget: The Old Codger is a poor teacher living in a Third World Country and doesn't have a lot of money. What the new design encompassed: Briefly, it was decided to get rid of the cartoon character that graced all the pages and add links on all of the pages to other sections of the site. Much to the dismay of one or two people, the decision was made to keep the old man as he seems to epitomize The Old Codger's vision of what an Old Codger looks like. (Sorry Ann. I know it is a disappointment.) The section on Nantong, China has been updated with more information as well as a bit of a city guide. A Forum has been added as well. The Teaching in Asia section has also been updated. And, so everyone can get a "feel" for what it is like in Nantong, we have included the current temperature here as well. All in all, many additions, and likely, many more will follow. The Old Codger hopes that everyone likes the new design. If you have any comments, please feel free to Contact The Old Codger. The basic weather report from Nantong this time around is that it is cold - bloody cold. Temperature is hovering around freezing during the day, 2 Celsius (35 F) but with the wind chill, it is -8 Celsius (17 F). At night, the temperature is dropping down to below freezing. Last week though, we had an interesting phenomenon in that the entire region here was engulfed in a thick fog for most of the day, for three days in a row. It was so thick one couldn't see 3 feet in front of themselves much of the time. With the cold weather outside, it is only logical that it is going to be cold inside the apartment. Needless to say, the apartment is a bit drafty in certain areas and the cold did seep in quite well no matter what measures are taken. Time to buy a heater. So, on Sunday, amongst a few snow flurries - very rare for Nantong they tell me - The Old Codger headed down to Lotus on his bike. Cold, but not too cold. Certainly not too cold for locals who were out flying their Nantong Whistling Kites. Personally, I can think of a lot better things to do than stand outside in the wind and cold and watch a big old kite flying about a mile up in the air. When it gets warmer, The Old Codger will get out and get some pictures of the kite flying and their fliers. A shopping experience - as much as The Old Codger detests shopping - can be quite interesting here in China. I do believe that the people that work in the stores, and the other shoppers instinctively know that I can not read one iota of Chinese. However, that does not stop me from trying to figure out what something is by carefully looking at the package. Sometimes there are some subtle clues that can be picked up. Invariably, one of the sales assistances will drop whatever she is doing - or even another shopper - and come over and pick up a similar product and try to foist it upon me. I suspect strongly that they are trying to tell me that their choice of the product is going to be the best tasting or the better product - assuming that I have the same tastes as the Chinese. Unfortunately, they don't know that most times when I am looking at things, I really have no intention of buying it at that time. I merely am trying to figure out what is available for future reference. Of course, this time, for this trip, The Old Codger was hell bent on buying a heater. He had seen some there at Lotus a week or so before for about 49 Yuan - (USD $6.76) which seemed like a decent price. Turned out that one was a Quartz heater (economical?) with out a fan operating at 700 Watts. Many other heaters were there on display - everything from space heater types with an electric coil and fan to Quartz heaters - with and without fans - on up to the hot oil radiator type heaters for around 200 Yuan (USD $28.00) So there The Old Codger was, meandering down the aisle looking at everything when suddenly he has his own personal shop assistant there quickly pulling one of the heaters off the shelf and trying to hand it to him. Then, she is dragging him down to an outlet so that he can test it. She is so happy - smiling and laughing; trying to communicate with sign language, you almost feel bad when you have to tell her that isn't quite what you had in mind. After looking at a few more, The Old Codger finally decided on one that was 800 Watts (more wattage = more heat, and the apartment gets bloody cold...) for 69 Yuan (USD $9.50). She then quickly pulled that one out of the box and ran over to the outlet to make sure that it worked. It did. She then insisted on accompanying The Old Codger to the check out counter where he could pay for it. Ah-ha! The cynics amongst you have figured out that all of that special service was because she is going to get a commission on the heater. Wrong! She only got me close enough to where she could point out where the counter was and then she disappeared to make someone else's shopping experience at Lotus more enjoyable. Don't recollect ever getting service like that back in the States... The Old Codger of course had planned ahead. He knew that he would need an extension cord, so off to the electrical department he headed. Buying an extension cord is a simple process - and something that The Old Codger can do unassisted. So, there he is, looking at the selection available when suddenly he hears some man say: "Hello my foreign friend." The enunciation, which with that phrase isn't really all that hard, was almost perfect, and The Old Codger was hoping against all hopes that the speaker knew more English than just those four words. Turning around, The Old Codger saw an elderly man - Chinese of course - who was smiling like a cat that ate the canary. The only thing detracting from his smile was a set of ugly teeth, but his personality more than made up for it. His English was exceptional and we stood there for about 10 minutes talking. The conversation of course started out with the almost obligatory complementing each others countries. He, like so many other Chinese that I have met, was just happy to be able to talk to a foreigner. For The Old Codger, it was refreshing to actually speak to a Chinese person in English that actually understood everything that was being said. While at Lotus, The Old Codger stopped in the DVD / CD department to see if there was anything of interest there. Now, China is a very conservative country. Pornographic sites are "said" to be banned on the Internet. One does not see any sex type magazines being displayed - or at least The Old Codger hasn't seen any. Could be because he hasn't been looking as well. Imagine, if you will, The Old Codger's surprise to see, right there on display, in front of everyone - including children - DVD's with naked or near naked women on the covers. Even DVDs from Playboy, and we all know that those videos would have nudity in them. Not wanting to go back out in the cold right away (self preservation, you know) The Old Codger decided to look at what was being offered. There was quite a selection. DVDs of nude Asian models. Other DVDs obviously with some form of sexual content, but indiscernible due to a lack of being able to read Chinese. The Old Codger knows full well that there is no such thing as "truth in packaging" here in China. You can buy, for example, a kilo of a ham product here for 10 Yuan, a good price. The picture on the package shows traditional ham slices. So, you think, and believe that the package contains real ham. When you open the package, you discover that it is Spam. So, from experience, The Old Codger knows that what is lurking behind the covers on those DVDs is unknown. There was one set of DVDs that were a bit intriguing. Each one had a picture of a near nude woman on it. In the background, were pictures of wood carvings of sex acts. Of course, not being able to read Chinese, The Old Codger had no idea of what it was all about. Curiosity got the best of him, and he bought one for the hefty sum of 10 Yuan. He took his purchases home. First thing of course was to get the heater plugged in and working. Took a bit for it to make a difference, but when it did, it was remarkable. The Old Codger is now toasty warm, and the envy of everyone else in the building. They too now are contemplating such a purchase. After a bit, he decided to pop the DVD into the DVD player. True to the experience with the 10 Yuan ham, this 10 Yuan DVD was also equivalent to Spam. As near as The Old Codger can figure, these DVDs are sex education videos. Not true educational videos which explain the process and such. Instead, the two "actors" appear partially clothed, the man either in boxer shorts or pajama bottoms, the girl in a wisp of an almost sheer nightgown or a bra and panties. They engage in simulated sex acts, greatly exaggerated. You name the position, they can simulate it. Actually, parts of them were a bit funny. The oral sex acts were really exaggerated. The Old Codger almost died laughing when after what appeared to be the man having a small orgasm (had to be small given the exaggerated simulation of the "act") the girl gets up and goes and gets the man his cigarettes, lighter and an ashtray. While he smokes, she goes and lays down on the couch and acts like she is going to sleep. After smoking a bit, the man then puts out his cigarette and then joins her on the couch. Before you know it, they are "at it" again. Pretty soon, she is performing very exaggerated simulated oral sex on the man again, and this is the point when The Old Codger just about lost it. Suddenly, the man grabs the woman's ears and starts "directing" the activity. Because everything was so exaggerated it was hilarious - especially watching his face as this is going on. Makes one wonder how they would act if the sex was real. Anyway - it is one hell of a sex education video. About the only thing that they didn't simulate was putting on a condom. And all along, The Old Codger thought that the Chinese were conservative.
Here in Nantong, The Old Codger has become a "ships doctor" for some of the ships crews that are in port here. They come and tell me their ailments when I am sitting in my "office" at Captain's Bar, and then I get them the drugs that they need at the pharmacy (chemists) just down the street. Can't quite understand why they would trust me more than a Chinese doctor that doesn't speak much English... As long as I don't end up being named on Quack Watch, I will be happy. Saturday night the Australian crew came in with a form of "payment" for my services - four fresh packs of Tim Tams. A total of 44 Tim Tam biscuits. The chocolate is exquisite. The best chocolate that I have ever tasted in my life. The smell of the chocolate is barely contained by the packaging. Once the package is opened, the smell of that chocolate jumps out at you, and you are hooked. Once you have one - something like that old potato chip commercial - you just have to have another one. The only way that I have been able to hide the smell of Tim Tams is to put them in the freezer. The Old Codger hadn't had a Tim Tam since he was Thailand - a long time to go without them. But, with my precious supply of Tim Tams, I am now happy. I will gladly die and go to heaven - 10 minutes after I eat the last one. Here in China, everyone is getting ready for the Chinese New Year. The color red symbolizes good luck, so there is plenty of red popping up everyplace. Even down at Lotus there is plenty of red - red panties, red bras, red boxer shorts, red negligees, red pajamas, red thermal underwear, etc. There are a lot of superstitions that go hand in hand with New Years which will be provided here in the near future. Wonder if "getting lucky" on New Years is part of a superstition. Going to have to check that one out... Speaking of New Years, the campus here is starting to look like a ghost town as the students are slowly departing for their homes. Stock in the campus stores, once depleted is not being replaced, so many, many empty shelves. Cold drinks have already been removed from the coolers, and they have been turned off. It all has the makings of a very quiet month or so here on the campus. With everything closed up, the convenience of having a local grocery within a three minute walk from the apartment is going to be lost. Hopefully I will be able to find a place close by to buy my oranges and other necessities, assuming that it is going to be cold as hell here for awhile. Well, that's about it for this time around. Have just been informed that the University wants me to turn in all of my student's grades tomorrow morning at 9:30, so need to make sure that all of that stuff is in order. Don't really have any idea of what I am doing, but I reckon that it shouldn't be too hard to make it look like I do. The Old Codger
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