Spring is on the way they say...

15 February 2008

The weather is finally warming up - and The Old Codger is starting to thaw out a bit.  Even though it has been much warmer all week, the snow and ice are finding it difficult to melt.  Regardless, one can actually smell  the freshness in the air.  It is doubtful that the clean smell will last given the propensity for air pollution in this area. 

More and more Chinese are reading The Old Codger's ramblings it appears.  Even some of the students at the University have "discovered" the cyber home of The Old Codger and seem to enjoy it.  One student (a senior that will be going to Australia to study for her Master's degree) wrote:

"Your words are funny, and your descriptions are...perceived from special aspects. Like I remember you talked about driving on the road something, you said needn't to notice others, just go straight and let others avoid you....Well, when I read this and think about it, amazingly found that's true in Nantong! But this kind of description cannot be found in our minds maybe because we are already accustomed to them and don't think it's a big problem ~ Your letters give me a chance to view China from a foreigner's eyes."

Speaking of "foreigner's eyes" the people here in China are a bit riled up these days.  Seems that they do not take too kindly to foreigners - especially the "do gooders" there in America - sticking their noses into China's affairs.  Movie director Stephen Spielburg decided to boycott the Olympics over China not doing more about the Darfur situation.  A number of others decided to chime in as well.  The basic response here in China was:  "We don't get involved in anyone else's business, so stay out of our business."  Can't say as though The Old Codger can blame them.  He always had the same belief about the "do gooders" at the IRS (Internal Revenue Service) there in America.  Unfortunately though, America's First Idiot, Bush, is not planning on boycotting the Olympics, and will be attending them in August.  Wonder how many millions that will end up costing the American taxpayer.  And yes, he is just as unpopular here as he is in America and the rest of the world.

It is interesting to see, with the downturn of the world economy, that more people around the world are starting to take notice of China.  Has quite a few of The Old Codger's conservative correspondents a bit shook up.  Their big concern seems to be that China is getting too strong, and will take over the world economy along with having a strong military presence.  As a bit of interesting trivia, it has been revealed that back in 1973 China, through its leader Mao Zedong was already contemplating ways to take over America.

In documents just released by the US State Department (Condi Rice & Company), the issue came up in conversations with Henry Kissinger, then Nixon's national security advisor.  Mao initially suggested that China could allow thousands of Chinese women to emigrate to the US, saying such emigration could kick start bilateral trade between the countries, but also admitted that it could "harm" the US by creating a population explosion. After thinking about the ramifications, he later increased the total number of women to be "exported" to 10 million.

Mao reportedly stated:

"Let them go to your place. They will create disasters. That way you can lessen our burdens,"  

Mao continued, "By doing so we can let them flood your country with disaster and therefore impair your interests. In our country we have too many women, and they have a way of doing things."

That should give the right wingers in America something to think about.  Could it be that with the large Chinese American population in America that the invasion has already started?  That should give the far right wingers something else to worry about.  They are all worrying about Muslims taking over America.  With the potential Chinese threat, that should keep them up at night for awhile. 

Students are now returning to school.  Classes begin tomorrow for the second term.  The Old Codger still has one more week of vacation though.  Why, he has no idea, but he isn't going to complain.  He will apparently get his schedule for the new term on Wednesday, the 20th, but that of course is subject to change without any notice to him.  That is the Chinese way off doing things.  After he gets the schedule that will then give him 2 days to rearrange the schedule to meet his own preferences and requirements - primarily the selection of class rooms.  It will probably cost him a bottle of wine and some cigarettes to get the rooms that he wants.  Mind you, not as bribes, but as a thank you.

Since the Chinese lunar new year, there has been an abundance of fireworks being set off anyplace and every place.  Just in Nantong, the number set off has to be in the millions.  Throughout the day and night - it makes no difference.  Of course, during daylight hours one cannot see the colors, just a white flash in the sky.  But at night, the sky has been quite colorful.  Businesses will set off the fireworks in the street - along the curb.  People give them all wide berth as they drive along - including the police.  No one seems to be bothered.  Back home in America, one would quickly find themselves facing hefty fines, if not jail.  Of course, this time of year is not recommended for people who are suffering from severe PTSD - Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.  They would think - nay, believe - that they were back on a battlefield someplace.

Exotic Meals:  The Old Codger has noted from time to time that Asians - including Chinese will eat anything that doesn't eat them first.  Dog is frequently on the menu.  Snake.  Eels - (the proper way to eat them is to bite their head off first, and suck the innards out before eating the eel - though some are served without the innards) grass hoppers and other bugs, chicken feet (ideally stuffed with chili), chicken heads, every bit of a pig (not uncommon to see the whole pig head sitting in the cooler at the grocery store, smiling at you) turtles, snake, lizard, etc. etc.  If it moves, it is part of the food chain.  Ideally, if you are hungry, you just eat whatever you see, and then ask what it was afterwards.  Knowing in advance is not always the best policy as you may well decide not to eat anything at.  Of course, finding out later may find you running to a secluded place to allow the meal to evacuate quickly.  The Old Codger of course strongly recommends sticking with things that you know - such as Tiger Beer or Jack Daniels.

Invariably, one can always find a new and interesting dish here in China.  The latest discovery - or "delicacy" is live fresh water shrimp in alcohol.  The shrimp are small baby shrimp,  still alive, which they put into a bowl with some alcohol and some other stuff.  The bowl has a cover on it which is periodically picked up to check on the shrimp.  The object is to wait until the concoction kills them (or dead drunk, perhaps?) before you eat them.  The fun part is when people reach in with their chop sticks to get one, they never know for sure if the shrimp is actually dead or just stupefied.  Nothing quite like having to chase your food around on your plate as it begins to sober up.  Gives new meaning to the phrase "playing with your food." 

It is hard to believe, but people here in China actually pirate satellite signals.  OK - not hard to believe at all given that you can buy a cloned Apple IPhone here for about $125.  Anyway, one of the satellite signals that is being pirated here is from the Philippines.  They are going to be upgrading their security systems by the end of the month, and are posting notices of the change on their TV shows.  What is interesting is that they are naming a major hotel chain in Beijing in their notices as a company that is pirating the signals.  They are claiming too that by subscribing to their service, they will be able to get the signals cheaper than going through a pirate.   Doubt that it all has any real impact on the hotel's business.  It is interesting to see one business "outing" another business though. 

The Chinese seem very interested in anything and anything that a foreigner does.  Walk through the grocery store with a few items in your cart, and the Chinese will pointedly look in your basket to see what you are buying.  If you have a number of items, it is probably just out of courtesy that they don't start going through the basket to check everything out.  But, you can see in their eyes that is what they want to do.  It's almost as though they are saying:  "Hmm.  So that is what foreigner eat to make them so big."  No idea if they approve of the purchases or not.

The Old Codger finally got brave the other day and got a hair cut.  Back in 1985, the venerable singer and comedian Ray Stevens sang a song called The Haircut Song. The last part of the song is a classic and a truism:

When you get a haircut
be sure to go back home
When you get a haircut
get a barber you have known
Since you were a little bitty boy
sittin' in a booster chair
Or you might look like Larry,
Moe or Curley if a stranger cuts your hair.

Over the years, The Old Codger has had some bad haircuts.  He'd go in looking like a shaggy dog and come out looking like he had been butchered.  So, his fear of getting a haircut is well founded and based upon experiences - very few of them falling into the category of being good experiences. 

Getting a hair cut in Asia is always a gamble.  Foreigner's hair - especially men's hair is different than Asian hair.  The curiosity of the Chinese people extends from the grocery store on over to the hair cutting shop.  When The Old Codger walked into the shop, there were only three people there.  Soon after he sat down, the shop was filled with about 15 curious Chinese wanting to see the foreigner get his hair cut.  It was amazing watching them in the mirror watching the stylists every move - every snip.  The Old Codger has no idea what the fascination was, but everyone seemed to be fascinated and quite interested. 

It was truly the longest hair cut that The Old Codger has ever had.  At times it seemed that the stylist was cutting only a centimeter of hair at a time.  Apparently the Chinese know how stressful getting a haircut can be, because he was offered a massage as well.  Now, a massage is indeed a welcome thing - providing that the masseuse is some cute girl.  This wasn't any cute girl making the offer.  It was some guy with spiky reddish orange hair, that just happened to give the impression that he had a limp wrist or two.  No thanks.  Will pass on the massage, thank you.

The next offer was for some hair dye.  "White hair no good. Need change."  The Old Codger quickly realized that they weren't talking about dying his hair with a color that was close to his own natural hair.  No sir!  They had all sorts of different colors that they thought would look good on him.  Now, The Old Codger figured he worked hard for the bit of grey hair that he has.  It makes him look a bit distinguished if you will.  Shouldn't take much of a genius to figure out that the hair dye was passed on as well.

Fifty three minutes later, the haircut was finished.  Surprisingly, and much to The Old Codger's shock and surprise, the haircut actually looks good.  In the course of the haircut, there were moments of fear and trepidation, but that was all for naught.  Total cost:  50 Yuan.  Not a bad price to look civilized - more or less - again.

That's about all for this edition.  Probably won't be long before something else worth writing about comes up.  Until then, the right wing conservatives there in America need to watch out for Chinese women.  "They have a way of doing things..."

The Old Codger

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